Let Me In


Deacon Ledger
Mrs Vandehorne
Senator Hogwash
Mrs. Hogwash


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Let Me In

DEACON LEDGER: Welcome! Welcome to the First Church on the Right.

MRS. VANDERHORNE: Thank you. What a lovely building.

DEACON LEDGER: Yes we're quite proud of our cathedral. Cost thirty five million you know.


DEACON LEDGER: Yes indeed, we have quite a wealthy congregation y'know. Anyone who contributes at the ten thousand dollar level gets a stained glass window with their name in it.

MRS. VANDEHORNE: Oh my, ten thousand dollars.

DEACON LEDGER: Well now ma'am I'm sure we can accommodate your level of generosity. We've got several levels of premiums as rewards to our benefactors. It's all here in the bulletin. You see, for as little as a fifty dollar a month pledge, Reverend Bottomline himself will read your name from the Ivory Pulpit two Sundays a year as thanks. For a hundred He'll read it on Easter when we've really got a full house.


DEACON LEDGER: Oh dear you must think me rude. I'm Deacon Ledger. And you...?

MRS. VANDERHORNE: Phoebe Vandehorne. I'm pleased to meet you Deacon.

DEACON LEDGER: Forgive me for prying, but umm Mr. Vanderhorne?

MRS. VANDERHORNE: I'm a widow.

DEACON LEDGER: Oh I'm so sorry.

MRS. VANDERHORNE: You needn't be deacon. It's been many years now. I've adjusted quite well.

DEACON LEDGER: Yes I'm sure he left you with plenty of life insur... er I mean pleasant memories.

MRS. VANDERHORNE: He was a good man.

DEACON LEDGER: That's nice, enjoy the service. (While shaking her hand, rushes her through the door and greets a flashy looking man and his wife.) Senator Hogwash! What a pleasure to see you. And Mrs. Hogwash, you look absolutely radiant.

HOGWASH: Good morning Deacon. It's nice to be back.

DEACON LEDGER: So how do you like your name in stained glass?

HOGWASH: Beautiful work Deacon; lovely craftsmanship.

DEACON LEDGER: I don't know if it can do justice to your generosity. Not to mention the work you did smoothing out some of those zoning laws for us.

HOGWASH: My pleasure Deacon. After all, The Reverend was quite successful in persuading the congregation to contribute to my campaign fund.

DEACON LEDGER: Ah yes that was a powerful sermon wasn't it.

HOGWASH: Well. we'd better get inside now Deacon

DEACON LEDGER: The ushers have your usual place reserved, right up at the front.

HOGWASH: Why thank you Deacon.

DEACON LEDGER: Oh, and will there be tv cameras after the service?

HOGWASH: My goodness! Thanks for reminding me. You'll make sure the reverend and Mrs. Bottomline walk down the steps with me?


HOGWASH: Oh and you and Mrs Ledger too of course.

DEACON LEDGER: Now Congressman we're not after all that attention, but of course if you insist. (Continues to shmooze with finely dressed congregation members) Good morning. Nice to see you. That's a fine looking suit you've got there carl. (Notices shabbily dressed Mike, steps in front of him.) Excuse me sir, can I help you?

MIKE: I've come to worship the Lord.

DEACON LEDGER: In those clothes?

MIKE: I'm afraid they're all I've got at the moment. You see someone needed my suit so I let him have it.

DEACON LEDGER: Traded it for drugs most likely.

MIKE: No! I don't do drugs. I...

DEACON LEDGER: What's that on your ear?

MIKE: This? Oh, it's an earring. See? it says Jesus.

DEACON LEDGER: Blasphemy! I tell you what. Here's bus fare. The Gospel mission downtown is more suited to your needs.

MIKE: But I want to come and worship here.

DEACON LEDGER: Sorry we're... uh we're full. Not a seat left in the house.

MIKE: Oh come on. You can't fit one more person?

DEACON LEDGER: Son if it were up to me I'd make an exception, but you know that fire marshall he'd close us down in a heartbeat if we went over the limit. He's a heathen y'know.

MIKE: Fire Marshall? Close...

DEACON LEDGER: God doesn't tolerate scofflaws. You just go on over to the bus stop now before I have to call security.

MIKE: Ok, I don't want to cause a problem.

DEACON LEDGER: (Slams door)

MIKE: (Sits down on the ground) Why do I have to be so shabby? If I only had some nicer clothes I could get inside. (Looks up sees Jesus) Jesus! Is that you?

JESUS:Yes Mike it is.

MIKE: Lord, I wanted to go inside to worship you but they wouldn't let me in. Can't you talk to them?

JESUS: Get up mike.

MIKE: Yes Lord.

JESUS: Come with me.

MIKE: You"re going to talk to them aren't you? I mean Lord, Is it right that they turn me away?

JESUS: Mike, follow me.

MIKE: Ok Lord, anywhere. Lord?

Jesus: Yes Mike

MIke: What's wrong with me? Why won't they let me in?

JESUS: Don't let that bother you. They won't let me in either.

(C) Robert J. Lee 1995

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